• I might be depressed. Clinically depressed, mildly depressed, seasonally depressed. overworked, overstressed, overwhelmed, overconfused, overrelationshipped, overdissertationed, overeverthinged.
• I have decided now, it can’t be PMS. It is a perpetual PMS. It has to be SAD. I check its symptoms. Take its online quiz. It is definitely SAD. How sad. Actually not so sad. Half the population has it,so why not me? it's even a sign of integration! apparently it hits young adult women most. Am I a young adult woman?? scary. Maybe that is what is causing this whole SADness? Being young, being adult, and being woman??(plus the obvious fact that its autumn!) Maybe not.
• Ok, now that I have established what it is, I am going to confront it: Here are steps to fight SAD, and I will make sure I record my improvement. (word limit: 300 words per day, %10 above or below acceptable)
1. Run (but then if I m always fatigued, how can I run??) ok then medication first! take medication, call the ‘look good but feel crap’ hotline, talk to them! Somebody with a broad Scottish accent will answer the phone, they will struggle to pronounce your name and then they will give you advice that they give to everybody else and you will follow that and you will be fine.
2. Now run!
3. Oh I forgot, include, in everyday, something that you look forward to. Like the film today. (But then that is a luxury I can not afford everyday. Ok, how about half hour of daydreaming about home?)
4. Write. (Not in a dissertation sense, but just write. Random shit. Remember, WRITING HELPS YOU LET GO OF THINGS. (oh,it SO doesn’t, it perpetuates the moment of writing, it lets you cling on to that moment for ever and ever. OK JUST SHUT UP AND WRITE. Stop problematizing everything around )
5. GET A LIFE WOMAN. Marking’s due tomorrow and you haven’t even started. Cut the crap and go back to work.
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